Sleepless nights of pain, tears, praying for relief...
Waking up exhausted, drained, sore as if having been hit by a truck...
Tired all day, unable to focus, dozing off while trying to focus on a task that needs to be done because the body simply must have the rest...
All who have Fibromyalgia know this situation all too well.
I thank God that when FMS is taking the lead, rather at night, keeping me up crying and praying, or during the day, demanding that I just "be" and rest, that I am BLESSED in that I actually CAN do what I must do...just "be" and rest. I know many who have FMS, whether because they must work, have little to no support system at home, or whatever the reason, cannot easily make the choice to just "be" and rest. I have been there, pushing until I collapsed and had no choice but just "be" and rest. I KNOW that those of us who can just "be" and rest whenever our bodies demand it are SO VERY BLESSED! I KNOW I am personally VERY BLESSED!
Sure, I had rather feel well, be accomplishing things. I would rather not have spent the night with leg pain so severe that I would swear, "If I were a horse...I would have been put out of my misery!" But, if that is what I focus on today, then FMS wins. If that is what I focus on today, I will become bitter, angry, depressed, etc. I have been there, many times. It is the natural reaction to the degree of pain, fog, and fatigue that FMS causes...and I know what it is like to just go with my very human nature and react negatively...and I felt VERY justified in doing so. Justified or not, that is no way to live.
I have little to no control over where FMS is going to lead me as far as the type and severity of pain, fog, and fatigue I am going to face, but I...and only I...have a choice over what I focus on! I CHOOSE to focus on HOW BLESSED I AM. FMS may be leading, but I CHOOSE how I react...and our reactions are what make up the content of our lives. Our reactions are the only actions we have control over at times like this...ergo, the ACTIONS we CHOOSE determine the content of our lives...of how we LIVE.
Yes, I know all about the rough times when FMS leads...and I KNOW that ONLY I can choose how I am going to face that reality. It is not always easy but it is always worth it. I CHOOSE LIVING!
I thank God for how blessed I am. With that as my focus, I am not being lead down the path of just existing...I am CHOOSING...I am LIVING!
I believe in YOU...
YOU can LIVE too!
LIVING a fibroLIFE